Dealing with Adult Bullies on Social Media

If you have been bullied on Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, you name it; I just want you to know you are not alone.

Bullies take on different forms throughout our lives.  From the child that pushes you down on the playground to the boy that pops your bra strap to the click of girls that decide they are no longer your friend because you made the Queen Bee mad.  In that situation the Queen Bee typically doesn’t have any dirt on her and has other girls do the bullying. 

As a child I remember thinking that this behavior would all be over when I was an adult. Oh no!  I deal with way more elaborate manipulative forms of bullying now than I ever did as a child.  Mostly from upper middle-class women. 

With my husband and I owning a trail riding facility and building it from the ground up, lots of people were all about supporting us until we actually made it and accomplished our goal. 

I feel that most of that is from some of those people being mad at themselves for not being able to take that leap of faith.  What those people do not realize is that this ability of mine to “JUMP” and go for a seemingly out of reach goals is from me overcoming cancer and overcoming a 3 inch blood clot.  Going through events that could have resulted in death makes business adventures appear much less traumatic. 

But rather than someone asking me what made us be able to let go of a much easier lifestyle and put ourselves into a higher risk situation, I endure some pretty nasty interactions with people at times.  Of course, never to my face.  Most of these nasty altercations have been on social media.

When someone is bashing you on social media, all you have to do is hold on for the ride, because it will die out.  When someone puts something crazy bold on social media, lots of people will flock to see what was said.  If someone is talking in code about you and they don’t say your name then you have to realize that lots of the comments will not be geared towards you, and they are just people wanted to comfort the other person.  They have no idea the entire story. 

The majority of the people that see the post aren’t even going to comment and literally HATE drama and want to run away from it.  If the person that is bashing you, bashes others…..you can bet that others are avoiding that person for always being engulfed in some big blown out of proportion drama pot!

As time has passed, I have got to see firsthand some of my largest social media attacks fade and the attackers have shown those true colors over and over again.  The entire world needs to be educated on the difference between slander and liable.  Especially when they are putting their words into type and clicking post.  Just because someone thinks something does not make it true. And if someone says stop and they do not…..there could be legal actions taken. 

My recommendations are to ignore, unfollow, snooze, unfriend, and/or block.  Typically, if you set the record straight, you look just as crazy as the other person and you prolong the dispute.  If it is someone you really care about, reach out to them with a phone call.  As soon as people can hear your voice and your intentions, it is hard to not come to a compromise.

We are just not designed to have as many friends as we have on social media.  In real life almost all of those people would just be acquaintances that you smile and wave to because they seem familiar. 

No matter how tough you are, those nasty comments are still going to sting.  They will be in your thoughts and make you question yourself, even if you say they do not. 

After someone attacks me, I typically share something positive I am working on, or I share something that brings me joy.  It helps me move on and shake off the negative!

Most of you know about my martial arts background…the short version of the story is that I competed in 5 countries as a heavy weight and tried to go to the Olympics.  Never made it but have a list of titles I will forever be proud of.  I realize most of you do not have a fighting back ground, so this might not help you….but, I have a small wooden sign on my desk that says “Don’t make me make a necklace out of your teeth”.  It helps me remember that the hate only comes towards me behind a computer screen.  Just knowing it isn’t real life helps me detach from all that hate coming my way.

There is not one song on YouTube, not one famous person, not any politicians, and not one charity without some sort of negative feedback.  Humans are a flawed species that require forgiveness regularly.  You could be the nicest person on the Planet, and someone will feel the need to knock your crown off.

The more self-assured, accomplished, and likable you are, the more a bully wants to conquer you.  This creates a confidence high for them until they find their next victim.  Don’t engage, because then you are playing their game. 

Every time I have been bullied since we opened the ranch helped not only burn bridges but incinerate them to light to way to my next even better chapter. 

Straighten your crown, put your pearls on, put on your best pair of jeans, and move on with your middle finger in the air.  Start your next day with confidence in one hand and coffee in the other.  Be thankful the trash took itself out!

I was extremely bullied while trying to improve my health doing 300 ice baths in 2023.