Surviving on Fear Only

Fear of failure is my choice of personal fuel right now.  Is this fear real?  If it changes my choices in a day, then I would say YES!  Is it a bad thing?  I will let you decide.

There are three things that have me fearful in my life right now:  doing well at a large equine expo, negative opinions on social media regarding my food in-take, and success of our newest event in 2024 which is the Country Tough Homesteading Expo July 19-20. 

Fear:  Failing at the equine expo. 

Definition of failure at the expo would be my equine acting a fool and my shooting accuracy being off.  Solution for fear about my equine acting up:  I was riding every day until winter tried to kill us.  I am bringing two equines that I can shoot fire from just incase one is lame or having an off day.  Every day that I ride I make sure and walk-trot-canter and am now training with my quiver on daily.  Solution for fear about shooting accuracy:  I am practicing every other day.  As soon as my thumb can handle 100 arrow releases per day, I will switch to practicing daily. 

Fear:  Negative opinions on social media regarding my food in-take.

Definition of failure on my social media would be me thinking something is healthy and someone shaming me or crushing my feelings when I am trying to eat healthier.  Solution:  Eat better and eat less.  I have tracked my food for years either in My Fitness Pal or a written food journal.  People that track their food are three times more likely to lose weight, but people that photo journal and share their food are way more likely to lose weight according The 4 Hour Body.  I thought I would give it a try and stated that I would post my food for seven days.  This has made a huge change in my thoughts about food.  I have even had trainers that I had to record my food for and knowing that 17, 000 people will see it on my professional Facebook page has me immediately stopping nighttime snacking after dinner.  I don’t want to have to answer for my behavior.

Fear:  Unsuccessful Country Tough Homesteading Expo in July

Definition of failure would look like less than 70 vendors, less than 25 presenters, and less than 1,500 spectators at the event.  Solution:  I have created a content calendar for social media, made goals for distribution of information, started weekly research over topics I need to understand, and started doing my search for products and people that are pivotal.  It is extremely important to me to get everything right and to support the right businesses and people.  I have found so much support from the Master Gardeners, the Mennonite community, and from like minded people.  I just need to keep the ball moving forward and remember to share the journey.  I “killed” our wedding venue that won Missouri’s Best Place to Get Married for 2022 and 2023 because my heart is in the homesteading and with helping people now and future generations become more self-sufficient.  This expo and the classes we are teaching in our venue are TOO IMPORTANT to fail. 

So, the question is, is fear a bad thing?  I think not.  It is producing positive outcomes.  I guess the real question would be, is this fear or a different emotion? 

A fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. 

My fear of failing at the equine expo will not cause physical pain or a threat unless I come off my equine.  Being made fun of if I do not live up to the hype would cause emotional pain for myself, but it would be short lived, so maybe that is actual fear.

My fear of negative remarks would once again cause emotional pain but would be short lived. 

My fear of the expo not being a success would cause delayed growth and financial losses.  The financial loss would be a pain. 

I am not afraid of financial loss for the expo, I have a greater fear of creating a beautiful resource that people need, but not getting the information in front of them. 

As I mentally process these emotions, I am grateful to have the added pressure that makes sure that I prepare and push, but at the end of the day, I am happy with my journey and am optimistic that I will ROCK ALL THREE!  Never underestimate a highly determined woman that has a sprinkle of fear (or whatever it is)!